nowhere to go & all day to get there

it's a cold snowy winter day and my day off!

i'm sitting at the computer sipping coffee with a light topping of foam. (i used the cappucino machine to froth the milk for my coffee.)

rover is sleeping on the bed. toby is laying on the big overstuffed 'dog chair.'

i've decided to use today's blog to respond to a few of my favourite bloggers.

tara dawn had these questions in her blog and i lifted them to answer:

1. What brings you comfort?

warm milk with the hint of vanilla,
soft blankets,
the sound of rain on the roof & being dry inside,
listening to music that matches my mood,
the album "pretty hate machine" is an oddly comforting album for me
(perhaps because i've entwined so many memories into its haunting & edgy tunes)
painting,
writing in my journal,
laughing with a friend,
holding a sleeping animal,
watching snow softly falling,
a note in the mail from a friend faraway,
the sounds of birds in the morning,
seeing the steam of my breath in the air while bundled up in layers of warm clothing,
starry nights,
slipping into a warm bubble bath,
sipping hot tea (or rish coffee tempered with warm milk,)
reading a novel that resonates inside of me (currently reading "theophilus north")
watching a film that shows the beauty of truth
crying out of sheer joy
crying because it is the only appropriate response
listening to the sound of a loved ones breathing as they sleep
kissing
hugging
loving

i am comforted by so many things that this list will grow by the minute and with each intake of breath.

2. What is one quote that has left a profound impact on your life?

the quote that has been reverberating in my brain lately is:

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes."
Marcel Proust


3. What are three things on your life-list (list of things you want to do in this lifetime)?

a.) travel around the world

b.) paint, paint, paint.... without worrying about the why and for whom of it all
("...everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination
to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt." -Sylvia Plath) everything in life is paintable too.

c.) be a good companion to those i love

krishna bhatt
is struggling with a bad day.

here's my response to a bad day:

any day can be a good day.
any day can be a bad day.
sometimes it's the day that is either bad or good, it's how we choose to respond.
the irish throw a party for the dead.
even in mourning, we have a choice.
in living, the choice is more profound.
i am deeply saddened by people who seem to be so wrapped up in bitterness that life seems to sit like ashes upon their tongues. (i pray for these people.)

it has been said that you cannot know pleasure without pain.
in order to see the beauty of life, there needs to be a contrast.
the ugliness and nastiness of life can result in profound beauty and growth.
we all must die in order to live. we must experience loss in order to appreciate life.

i write all of this with a dear friend in mind.
tomorrow marks the 14th anniversary of her mother's death.
these words will not shield her from her pain.
i write them to console myself somehow & so that hopefully, i can be a better friend for her.

last night, she remarked, "after 14 years you'd think this wouldn't hurt so much."

to which i said, "there are deep hurts that we have that heal but the scar tissue lasts a lifetime."

i have a scar on my hand.
in the cold, it gets angry and red.
at other times, you can hardly see it.
we all have scars. sometimes a small injury can leave a big scar.
scars remind us of our injuries but it does not mean that we need to relive the cause.
my mom is alive.
i have no idea what losing her would be like

all i can do is pray.