feeling all sixteen-ish

i am feeling rather boring. and living a boring life...

i just spoke to monk on the phone. my dear friend...and tonight, i felt inadequate... shallow.
has my puddle run dry? do i bore even a dear friend to near tears??? why do i feel like i am falling flat?

i am feeling inadequate, wanting, empty...

my life has become rather simplistic.
wake-up, walk the dog
eat, walk to work
work
walk home
walk the dog
eat
unpack, or clean, or write e-mails, or surf the net
walk the dogswith brother and mom
read
go to bed

i am stagnating.

i am fizzling... not sizzling.

i want a life!!!!!

i want companionship... but what do i have to offer?
why would anyone want to be with me, as i am now?

to make matters worse, after a few years of near-celibacy, I AM HORNY!!!
yet, i am feeling inadequate about my body...

part of me wishes that i were able to have sex with any tom, dick, or hanz... (hanz is an older man who asked me if i'd like to go to bed with him. yeaaaaaaaaah, NO.)

i want sex without sex. first base. second base... maybe third. all the boys that i want to make out with are MARRIED (and that's just against the rules!!!)

sigh

i wanta kiss someone!!!!!!!!!! i feel like i am sixteen again and just as insecure.