cursillo

this weekend, i went on a retreat and prayed and laughed and cried and was amazed by the grace and beauty of God's love expressed through a loving Christian community.

i realized that:

i want to marry someone who has a strong and active faith life.
to attend church with my husband.
to have more shared interests.

when you say "i do" to someone, you say: i accept you just as you are, as you have been, and as you will be. i will grow old with you and love you through thick and thin. i will be your partner in all things.

fred and i do not share our lives fully with one another.

he is a good and decent man but not the right man for me.

it would be unfair to know this and not tell him. he may hate me but living with him and not telling him would be unfair. i am not ready to play the role of bitch. i am too honest to being lieing through omission.

(deep breath)