more charm than bing crosby, i tell ya!

i made a vegetarian paellla for dinner tonight. i can be such a hippy chick sometimes!

life as a single woman...

i am wanting to get out and enjoy the joy of singledom. dating. dancing. go outing at night with people that i am not related to... meeting new people. yet, i've never been much of a seriel dater. i tend to either want to see more of a guy or move on. most of my single life has involved one date and... next! (thank heavens i haven't slept with as many people as i've kissed!!!)

being single is a strange place for me and yet, i also don't want to meet the right man... at least, not right now. i am not ready yet. i say all of this with one man resting on the edge of my thoughts...

monk...
he's still in love with someone... not me.
that's an odd feeling. a tinge of jealousy. a spoonful of wistfulness.
could i have been the girl?
could i have rocked his world? (this is not merely a sexual question.)
we never really dated. our relationship was all preamble... it ended just as it began.

on some days, i think that we would have made an interesting couple. i love spending time with him. i love listening to him tell stories. i enjoy simply having him in my life. his use of movie quotes in everyday life amuses me beyond belief.
i am a groupie. i've fallen for his charm hook, line, and sinker. "is that the sound of canon fire? or is it my heart beating???" i ask. (sigh, i'm just not as good at it as he is.)

i can imagine hours spent watching films snuggled into him...

on other days, most days, i am ashamed to even consider him as anything other than a man called to a vocation. he is amazing at his position. any parish that receives him should consider themselves lucky. the church is strengthened by men like him.

as i type this, i struggle with my ongoing, never ceasing attraction to the man and his amazingly beautiful eyes.