kissing your neck

we went on a date, julian & i.

a basement bar
alternative country
hank williams lyrics thrashing against drums, keyboard,
and bass

(my choice of his alias would be transparent if you knew me
or him... or where i write this.)

he was shy
and nervous
.....................and as far as i could tell, not that 'into me.'
we hugged good bye.
i wanted to kiss him.
i was shy.
unsure.


there's a short list of boys in this world whom i wish to kiss.
kissing is more important to me than sex.
sex is messy.
kissing is simple.
kissing is sensual...

kissing is alpha and omega.

without kissing, sex is crude.

i wrote a little note to rothko today.
i wish that i had kissed him...
but there was never the right time or moment.
a regret that hovers in the air like morning mist.
yet, i have the bittersweet joy of that longing
made sweeter by its delicious impossibility.

a kiss
such a powerful moment of communication.