musing over time

dear reader,

i've never had a good sense of time... or direction for that matter. though i love reading about events in history, timelines perplex me. how can i keep track of historical chronology when i am struggling to make sense of how i live relative to actual time?

a day is a week is a month is a year. i am swimming in time. surrounded by it. consumed by it.

i am getting older, even now as my coffee begins to cool and the sun moves across the sky, unseen by me because i am in the basement writing to you. time is moving faster and faster. 60 seconds, a blink.
a week passes over me like a cloud across the sky.

three months ago, i moved into this house.
five years and three months ago, i met fred...

already, i am leaving things out. omitting. forgetting. someday, maybe tomorrow, i will forget what i wrote to you. my mind struggles to move in a straight line. i am constantly in the process of remembering and forgetting. my thoughts move in circles.

counterintuitively, i love making lists, putting things in order, and creating art with a slightly geometric tilt (and many, many cats.)

when i write (on paper with a medium point pen,) my letters are small, consistant, tidy and all in caps. maybe, someday, i'll write you a letter. a real letter.

when i type (for myself, with a computer) i prefer this style (courier, all lower case) for purely romantic reasons. (my first love letters were typed exclusively in lower case. in fact, his blog is written in all lower case.)

with love, jenny lynn