wakeful wondering

i walked past his window
with two dogs in tow

his windows were lit
and
i made rhe assumption
that
he was inside

i wondered if
possibly
he was alone
and wanted to call


but i've erased his number...
for just such occasions

i walked the dogs
along the route
and just when
and just where
i should have anticipated
but did not anticipate...

where his vehicle might be

i saw headlights
and doubted
and hoped
and wished it would be him

but i could not look
until it passed me

only knowing in that second
that it was him

leaving me wonder...
did he see me?
was he alone?
did he wonder why i was walking at midnight?

two hours later...
i am laying in bed




wondering




i imagine the light still on
and

the
apartment


empty


i imagine him elsewhere
and not


alone