what i want in life

what do i want more than anything in this world?




i want to be a mother.




i am rediscovering what i really want in life.
i do not want a husband...
i want a father for my child,
a friend,
a conversationalist,
a companion,
an honest relationship



marriage has been corrupted,
turned into a financial contract,
a formal agreement
a legal activity masquerading as spiritual commitment


i want to love someone forever
i just don't want to go to court
and
feel legally bound



i feel this longing pressing in on me

in time,
i know that
i will be a mother...
when the time is right.


all i can do is be quiet and wait.